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Build a Lasting Relationship

Recently I was doing a phone Health History Consultation with a woman in Tennessee.  During the conversation she asked about my relationship with my husband. I truthfully told her that we had been married over 36 years and were more in love than ever before. There was a pause and then she said, "That's what I want."

This has happened to me several times. People want a permanent and happy relationship with their spouse. They want the happiness and security that comes from a deep relationship that is committed. Couples want to know that the person they are giving all their love to is doing the same for them.

But, most people don't know how to make it happen 
don't believe it CAN happen.

Building a lasting relationship is like building a house. 

1. Floor Plan and a Piece of Land:

As a young woman, I started with a few ideas of what I wanted in a husband. My qualifications were not overwhelming, but important. He needed a spiritual foundation, a desire to continue to grow and develop himself, and love me so completely that he wanted our marriage to last forever. Committing to happily staying together forever is a true test. It also adds strength and a firm commitment to succeed! Divorce was never an option.

My 'floor plan' was adjustable in many areas, and as you can see, our piece of land was not in perfect shape. held lots of potential. It was a beginning place for Lance and I.

2. Build with the end in mind:
If a couple know what they want their marriage to be like 20 years and even 50 years from now, then it's easier to keep things in perspective. Also, it's easier to spot tendencies that are not adding to the relationship. 

In building our house, we had to rip out our fireplace frame several times before it was what we knew we both wanted. 

Now we have something that adds to the value of our home. It was worth it to take extra time and energy getting it just right.

In a growing relationship, there will be times when we need to re-evaluate and adjust our course of action if it's standing in the way of our goals as a couple. It can be a bit painful, but the result will strengthen the relationship. If a couple keeps the end in mind, the in-between adjustments won't overshadow the goal!

3. Don't let the ugly times lead to discouragement:
There will be plenty of times in the process of building a house when things look pretty ugly.

Building a strong, quality house that will withstand the storms takes time and patience. The same is true with a strong marriage. At the beginning, Lance and I made mistakes. In fact, we made TONS of mistakes and some were pretty ugly, but commitment to making our relationship work strengthened us through the rough times.

4. Take time to celebrate:
It can be easy to get so involved with building a house/relationship that couples get lost and forget that the purpose of a relationship is to enjoy it in the moment. Waiting until the house is built to enjoy it can lead to precious moments lost. Waiting until we have our degree, a house, the perfect career, or when the kids are raised, before enjoying our marriage, not only puts in jeopardy, but so many building moments are lost.

5. Continue the courtship:
Once a house is built, not all is done. It takes continual upkeep - planting lawns, flowers, and trees, watering, nurturing, mowing lawns and weeding...

...even shoveling snow in the cold winter months. In marriage there will be times to shovel cold snow, but, once it's shoveled, a cozy fire and warm blankets heal from the cold. 

Building a lasting relationship is like building a house. 

Once it's completed, there is safety, security, and it's a place where love can flourish.

I am very passionate about guiding couples in re-kindling their relationship. Lance and I have done it and we know what works! Please contact me today to learn more!

With love and gratitude,

Inspired by what you've read? Want to get a feel for what it's like to work with me as your Wellness & Lifestyle Consultant? Sign up for a FREE initial consultation TODAY!